I would always prefer to describe a relationship as dining
on cuisine. Hereby I will specifically refer to western cuisine. Since our main
focus here is not about food (though I have minimum self-control to it), let’s
categorize a general western cuisine into 3 courses: the appetizer, the main
course and finally the dessert.
The appetizer, as the
word presents itself, fresh and appetizing to describe the subtle feeling and
the dubious relationship between two individuals. Chemistry happens anytime
anywhere unknowingly. You will be wondering why you have started to have
interest in something that you never eyes on before or you will be listening to
songs that are not of your favourite genre etc. And the scary part of this
stage is you don’t even know how it happens and when it happens, and it may be
too late when you realize, as you will be finding that you are stuck in the
dilemma. One thing I found interesting about this stage is that the subtle
feeling has the effect of caffeine and nicotine, which is rather addictive as
it gives the same effect as consuming opium.
The main course stage, where couples started to have a
better understanding with each other, often accompanied by fiery passion and
promises made for life. This stage is often the peak of a relationship and the
beginning of marriage. Besides, it is also the most fragile part of a
relationship as challenges and problems emerge when sharing life with each
other, coupled with work and financial stress, new married couples are likely
to face arguments and contradicting opinions in some situations. It will be
critical to solve the problems and arguments faced as soon as possible before
they roll into enormous snowballs which may lead to breakups and divorces.
Hereby, proper communications, understanding and acceptance play a vital role
in bringing the relationship to a deeper level. Selfishness, timid and
avoidance are the major reasons that will fail a relationship. If couples
manage to overcome the ups and downs together with selflessness, courage and
faith in each other, they will proceed to the dessert stage where they will be
facing additional challenge-- their children.
The final stage-- the dessert, most passion and
compassionate love cools off and be replaced by companionship and the component
of family. Couple now treats each other more like family members than lovers
where they used to BEFORE (in the main course stage) and children become the
center of the relationship. In this stage, family matters and it is also the
most sensitive stage in a relationship. As understandings get deeper day by
day, the passionate interest in each other may be fading as time goes by (there
may be exceptions however). Thus, it is crucial to refresh sweet memories or to
create new memories together.
The blogger’s opinion is that a preferred relationship
should undergo the courses of a French cuisine, all in minimal quantity,
instead of having the American cuisine’s large portion. The main reason why
most French are able to maintain their body figure is the small serving of
French cuisine, patrons who are dining on it will not be likely to get bloated
or reaching their satiety too soon before finishing the whole meal.
Love should flow like a stream, bit by bit and continuously.
It should be appreciated like a piece of abstract art, brain teasing and
inspirational; and should be like a French cuisine, so as to maintain its
freshness, excitement and surprises. Love should also help each other grow in a
relationship. Couple can be as loving as lovers, as understanding as friends
and as supportive as family.
Relationship between two individuals is simple yet complex
at the same time. Falling in love is easy, but sharing your life together and
getting to know and bear with each other is another matter. Which two
individuals are totally alike in this world? Even your teeth will accidentally
bite your tongue occasionally. Tolerance is not a good way out for a
relationship of two different individuals to work. Faith, understanding,
acceptance and perseverance are the secrets of most successful relationships.
For those who are in
a relationship, may you always be loving, understanding and have a long lasting
relationship. For those who are undergoing challenges in a relationship, may
you always be courageous and persevere in facing and solving all obstacles
along the way. And for singles, may you have all the love and luck in finding
your soul mate.
Happy Lantern Festival / Happy Chinese Valentine's Day.
好想好想 by Leo Ku
Cheers,
S.L.Alpha
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