Years ago, I shared the music video below with a friend of mine. After watching the MV, he asked me a simple question which I could not answer at that point in time," Why the guy gave his pair of eyes to the girl? Wouldn't it be better if he gives her one and leave one with him so that both of them can see as well?"
Because I'm A Girl -KISS
That supposingly to be a fairly simple question took years to be solved. I should be grateful that it did not take the whole life though. I found my answer in the story of "The Comb and The Watch", which was shared by my lecturer when I was a
freshman. That time, majority of the class found the couple were rather
ridiculous and foolish. Years went by and reading the story again, I
found that, those who ridiculed the story years ago, were actually those
who were foolish and ridiculous.
I cannot comprehend why I was only able to find my answer after the second time reading the story again, years after listening to it for the very first time. Time teaches, maybe?
The Comb and The Watch
"A very poor man lived with his wife.
One day, his wife, who had very long hair asked him to buy her a comb for her hair to grow well and to be well-groomed.
The man felt very sorry and said no. He explained that he did not even
have enough money to fix the strap of his watch he had just broken.
She did not insist on her request.
The man went to work and passed by a watch shop, sold his damaged watch at a low price and went to buy a comb for his wife.
He came home in the evening with the comb in his hand ready to give to his wife.
He was surprised when he saw his wife with a very short hair cut.
She had sold her hair and was holding a new watch band.
Tears flowed simultaneously from their eyes, not for the futility of their actions, but for the reciprocity of their love.
MORAL: To love is nothing, to be loved is something but to love and to
be loved by the one you love,that is EVERYTHING. Never take love for
granted."
The main objective of writing Quit that Unrequited Love! (Part 1/2) - Silent Hint 摆脱单恋! (1/2部) - 沉默的暗示 is to help shy buddies out there that are suffocating from their long buried feelings. To my realization, these shy friends are actually very sensitive and observant in nature that they can easily catch silent hints easily, but it may not be the same case for their counterparts who are not as sensitive and observant to be able to comprehend the hints. For our shy friends that had read Q.T.U.L part 1 and were successful in confessing, I am very for all of you and would like to congratulate you for your success, as you deserve it. All thanks to your feelings and courage! May you both always be loving and happy with each other.
Yet, for those that had already confessed but yet to receive or receive no response at all, no fret, this Q.T.U.L part 2 is written specially for you. Alright, if silent hint does not work, then, let's be obvious!
Why there's no response at all after silent hint is given:
1) insensitive
Let's be pretty honest here, not all people are as sensitive as us. And that's one quality that we should be proud of (but at the same time, be annoyed about). Fine then, so let us express in a way that can at least reach the minimum sensitivity level of his/her.
2) unobservant
Again, this is not our fault. But we are forgiving enough to forgive him/her that he/she is not as observant as us. Okay, let's be kind enough as well to show him/her in a way that will be more observable for him/her.
3) uncomprehending
Yes, he/she may not understand our hint at all! Alright, perhaps we should make sure him/her knows what your hint is all about. Let me be very frank, silent hint has its one major advantage - it lets you express without feeling embarrassed. But at the same time, it is also its major disadvantage, because your recipient may have interpreted your hint wrongly without you realizing about it! Instead of expressing your feelings, you create misunderstanding that may wreck the initial relationship.
4) rejection
It is cruel, but we still have to face the reality that he/she does not share the same feeling. However, as mentioned earlier, there maybe some misunderstanding in between, thus do not conclude in advance.
The above are among a few possible reasons of no response to our hint. We may not know exactly which reasons, but what really matters to us is an answer. So, let's be straightforward in getting our "yes" or "no". The decision is in your hands whether you still want to continue on it after getting your answer. Well, if the person is worthy, why not?
Hereby, I will share with you some "unconventional obvious hints" (I mean, obvious, really). Say and do only when you really mean it.
1) Utilize your vocal
Love to sing? Then sing your love out loud. Pick a few "obvious" songs, better with lyrics that can express your feelings and modify them if necessary. Go to jukebox, karaoke, studio, stadium, bedroom, bathroom or wherever you are comfortable with. Then, practice, practice and practice. Impress him/her with enough preparation. One gentle reminder, do make sure that your preparation does not cause any disturbance to others, especially your neighbours. I have a neighbour who enjoys singing during the weekend. It is a lovely love song that can be clearly heard and it echoed in my bathroom. I enjoyed the song most, especially the part where he sang the high pitch. *v*
Some personal favourites:
English
Michael Learns to Rock - Take Me to Your Heart
A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton
Mandarin
爱你 - Kimberly Chen
回音 - 周定緯
唐禹哲 - 美味的想念
Cantonese
世上只有 - Joey Yung (Cantonese Version)
A Little Love - Fiona Fung (English Version of 世上只有 )
Korean
Be my love - Clazziquai Feat Lee Seung Yul
Hey U - Venny
Spanish
Ai Se Eu Te Pego - Michel Teló
2) Show off your cooking skills, foodie!
Any foodies here who love to eat and cook? Well, it's time for you to show off your skills! Homemade food is not a bad idea, but let's have fun with baking. How about fortune cookies? Those tiny cookies packaged in pretty packages contain taste and fun. There will be a small sheet of paper "indicating" your luck for the whole year. It's more for fun purpose rather than divination. I used to have lots of fun eating and cracking the cookie to see what is written inside.
You can prepare a small (I mean, small) sheet of paper and print whatever you want to express on it, limit it to 10-15 words. Please do not stuff a 150 words love letter inside. I believe you do not want the cookie to "explode" or choke the him/her, yes?
Oh, a gentle reminder. In case that person does not know what a fortune cookie is, do note him/her that there is a sheet of paper in the cookie so that he/she will not swallow it and ended up your words in the .....*cough* loo.
3) Old school style - <3 shape
I could not find the basis for humans, throughout the history of mankind, prefer to represent love in heart shape. I have yet to find the answer. Anyway, for heart shape fans, you can find lots of heart shaped products in the market. Plus a bit of sincerity by making it yourself, it will definitely add few marks.
Heart shaped ham. No matter how it taste like, it sure looks delicious and adorable. A good option for foodie.
4) Keep your words
Yes, whatever we have promised, we have to keep our words. Here, it literally means "keeping" your words in a recorder. No, it is not intended to be used as court evidence, it is actually pretty useful for those that are too shy to voice it out. Record what you want to say, address him/her through the usual way you address the person. (Well, just in case it falls into the wrong hand. You know, love confession directed to the wrong person, it's disastrous, seriously) Share the record and listen together. It's exciting and scary at the same time. You have the adrenaline rush, your heart beats will be out of order, you will face difficulty in breathing, you will sweat and drench your clothes, and you can even see stars and moon revolving around you. No, do not faint yet. The most exciting part is yet to come - his/her expression and answer. You can faint, jump into the pool or enjoy your champagne later, after hearing the answer.
That's love is all about, well, just a part of it. It all starts with heart beat goes out of order, blacking out, and gasping for air. Hey, you will never experience all these if you have not been poisoned by a drug called L.O.V.E. So, enjoy the excitement. "Your Love is My Drug" does have its basis, no?
Your Love is My Drug - Ke$ha
4) You're Mine
What is more exciting than claiming "ownership"? For those who loves
to mark their "territory", a.k.a possessive, you can express your
"possessive love" in a "gentle" way. The majority view people with
possessive character from a negative viewpoint. If we change our facet,
possessiveness can actually be interpreted as something or someone that
he/she cares a lot. Come to think about it, we would not be possessive
about something or someone that is not important to us, no? So,
possessive shy buddies, be proud of your possessive character. Let that
person knows about it and feels proud about it too! You don't need to
write your name on him/her, here's a "gentle" way to mark your
"ownership:ties or scarfs.
I believe you know
what to do then, and be sure to give it out when the weather chills.
Now, that's one excuse to walk in the snow.
5) I'm Yours
Let's shift our perspective, how about being "owned"? No, you do not need to chain yourself up and hand the chain to the person. Well, if you have such hobby or enjoy such presentation, nobody can stop you. But, I believe you would not want to scare that person away, would you? And this section, I will leave it to your imagination and creativity to express yourself. One easy yet expressive method - sing Jason Mraz "I'm Yours".
I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
The above are for your reference, you can come up with your own personal creative methods to help you succeed. One important thing I need to note here, PLEASE REMEMBER to obtain an answer after expressing your feelings. That's the objective of us braving up ourselves to do all these, no? So, do not forget. If the answer is a 'yes', congrats. If 'no', also congrats to you, as you are courageous, being truthful to him/her and yourself. And most importantly, you have no regrets!
I do not regret what I did, I only regret what I did not do when I have the chance. -- Anon.
If you still cannot let go, then follow what your heart and go for it if he.she is worthy; or wish him/her all the happiness if the person is already unavailable.
I may not be obvious in telling you my true feelings.
At first, I thought it was because of my ego,
but now I realize that it's because I'm afraid of losing you.
However,
I know if I don't let you know and keep this forever in my heart,
I'll definitely lose you.
I won't regret that I have tried my best in telling you,
I'll only regret that I didn't tell you and let you slip away from my life.
P/S: This article acts as reference only. No guarantees are made for
successful confession and is not liable for any failure of confession or
any other litigation.
Give your best shot,
S.L.α
S.L.α's Personal Comment:
I have limited time nowadays to properly write out an article. I have longed to finish this Q.T.U.L part 2 as there were some incidents happened some time ago which made me realized the difference in expressing and understanding between shy people and their counterparts. I have urged myself to finish this article. Finally, I am able to finish my handwritten draft on my way to and fro outstation after a couple of hours. Subtracting the side effects of writing on a vehicle, I feel great of finishing this!
The main objective of writing Q.T.U.L part 2 is to help our shy buddies out there to express their true feelings, somehow some did not get any response after part 1. This saddens me as they deserve the response that they longed for, basing on all the effort, feeling and sincerity that they had put in. Therefore, I feel an urge to write out part 2. To me, it is a sad incident that a relationship does not work due to some misunderstanding.
As a shy person without the sensitivity and observation a shy person should have, hereby best wishes to all shy buddies in your second shot, and most importantly, give your best shot!
Are we complicating our simple life? Only ourselves have the answer.
But one thing for sure, kids can do the below easily compared to the "grown-ups".
It's the fact that life is just that simple, and kids have proven it. =)
Congrats to those that can do these easily, as it's a pride, it's being honest to yourselves and living your lives truthfully.
When I went through this story, I keep on figuring whether it can be practiced in my society. Whether it is practicable, it goes back to the root of ethics and humanity, depends on which facets you look at it. Still, the "suspended coffee" act really does warm up the winter and melt the snow. Suspended coffee, anyone?
"We enter a little coffeehouse with a friend of mine and give our
order. While we're approaching our table two people come in and they go
to the counter - 'Five coffees, please. Two of them for us and three suspended' They pay for their order, take the two and leave. I ask my friend: 'What are those 'suspended' coffees ?' 'Wait for it and you will see'
Some more people enter. Two girls ask for one coffee each, pay and go.
The next order was for seven coffees and it was made by three lawyers -
three for them and four 'suspended'. While I still wonder what's the
deal with those 'suspended' coffees I enjoy the sunny weather and the
beautiful view towards the square in front of the café. Suddenly a man
dressed in shabby clothes who looks like a beggar comes in through the
door and kindly asks, 'Do you have a suspended coffee ?' It's
simple - people pay in advance for a coffee meant for someone who can
not afford a warm beverage. The tradition with the suspended coffees
started in Naples, but it has spread all over the world and in some
places you can order not only a suspended coffee, but also a sandwich or
a whole meal."
Here's a Hand Reflexology Chart that I had recently found. Same as foot massage, you just need to massage the parts of the palm associated with related organs so as to improve blood circulation.
I came by an interesting article, which I found rather informative for those who has the idea of divorce in mind, prepares to get married, or plans to involve in a serious relationship.
“When
I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She
didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t
talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what
had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I
just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a
divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car,
and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into
pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become
a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I
could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally
she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which
had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing
something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep
and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with
Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just
did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the
morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything
from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested
that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as
possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s
time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of
our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going
crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd
request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She
laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she
applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My
wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we
both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy
in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to
the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in
my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about
the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the
office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.
She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I
realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I
realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her
face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a
minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day,
when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the
woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth
day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t
tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped
by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was
choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but
could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was
the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom
out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;
it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight
made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly
move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I
hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped
out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay
would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door
and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have
a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I
won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I
didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each
other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on
our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane
seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the
door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the
floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The
salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll
carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That
evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run
up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been
fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice.
She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the
whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with
the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the
bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot
give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s
friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do
have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are
people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave
up.
Remember love is the richest of all treasures. Without it
there is nothing; and with it there is everything. Love never perishes ,
even if the bones of a lover are ground fine like powder. Just as the
perfume of sandalwood does not leave it, even if it is completely ground
up, similarly the basis of love is the soul, and it is indestructible
and therefore eternal. Beauty can be destroyed , but not love. "
Source: Useful Info
Try to find a solution before going for the "road of no return". There's nothing cannot be solved, only things that not wanted to be solved.
We have been been teased, been looked down, been cast aside, been bullied, been suppressed, been forced to the corner by those who think that they are the top dogs.
For how many times that it rains when we have no shelter,
For how many times that it shows when we have no warm clothing,
For how many times that we starve when we are penniless,
For how many times that people leave us when we need them the most,
For how many times that people cheat on us when we trust them by heart,
For how many times that people step on us when we are in our trough,
SO WHAT??! Despite all these,
we bravely march to our destination in the rain.
we warm up our hearts and keep our heads up.
we fill up our will and strength and keep moving on.
we still have ourselves.
we still have faith in people.
we still survive through the trough.
Are we defeated? NO, NOT THAT EASY.
We, the underdogs, only know that:
For all the words that can be remembered, never remember the words "give up".
For all the words that can be forgotten, never forget the words "keep it up".
Underdogs, let's show and prove to the world that, the whole world can underestimate and step on anything and anyone, but not the us, the UNDERDOGS.
Cheers to those who always been bombarded by challenges
but have been courageous and determined enough to continue the journey.
